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Happily Detatched

I'm not sure when it started happening, but at some point in my relatively recent life I stopped being the go-to guy for whenever people have problems. Perhaps it happened after I had a few revelations that lead to simple solutions to most common problems; people don't want solutions, they just want an open ear to implicitly validate their character. My solutions are always simple, yet somehow difficult for people to execute in practice (probably due to pride). What works for me can't work for them because they're not me. I call bullshit.

Enough about me (you may have noticed I limit how much I talk about myself). Point is, problems are generally a source of unhappiness--especially so-called personal problems--and unhappy, sunken feelings are often linked to feelings of loss. I'm homesick. My girlfriend broke up with me. Oohhh, some animal died. How can you lose something without a sense of attachment? Well, yeah, you can't.

Loss. Attachment. Both artifacts of the self/non-self illusion. This self, normally thought to be autonomous, nonetheless feels a connection to these other people, places, and things, the detachment of which could cause so much sorrow. Typically I hear people say, "They were never yours to begin with, so it can not be a loss!" I prefer to look at it from the other direction; everything is a part of me, so nothing can be gained or lost.

Again, the reason loss is felt is because you feel like a part of you is gone. How can something be a part of you? When the barrier between self and non-self is broken. When the self/non-self barrier is broken due to a sense of ownership rather than through dissolution of the ego, karmic repurcussions (such as sorrow) are in order.

"But Phlegm, I love my wife. Are you saying it's wrong for me to spend the rest of my life with her?" I wish! Heh, but seriously, no, I'm not saying that. True love (huh?!?), at least in my worldview, carries with it no sense of ownership, but instead a selfless realization of union. Jealousy, envy, possessiveness, and all that horrible stuff that happens in relationships is the result of pride and attachment. If you feel like you will die if you lose her, then yeah I think that's wrong, but that's another blog entry.

Just let go. The fewer attachments you have, the happier you will be.

posted by Phlegm at 3/16/2004